In their study, Dating Scripts Revisited, Mary Riege Laner, and Nicole A. Ventrone found that the traditional dating Scripts of the 1950's still hold true today (or at least in 2000 when the study was conducted). Although the study suffered from limitations that would prevent it from being universally applied, it's results were truly frustrating. This is especially true considering the evidence presented that marriages based on early gender scripts are generally not as egalitarian as those marriages who were not.

When reading Laner and Ventrone's study, I was reminded of my very first date. It followed all lines of the traditional first date script. He was my senior by two years (a mature 17), he picked me up at my house, opened the door for me, and surprised me with a flower. Of course he also paid for dinner and a movie at his pre-determined locations. Although it made me swoon at the time, I now realize that it is better to play the role of friend or partner, instead of swooner and swoonie.

Fortunately, my first date with my husband was nothing like that. In all honesty, we never really had a first date, we got to know each other first as peers, then as friends, and eventually it just blossomed into something more. While there is the occasional time that I pine for "romance," I realize that I really am romanced, just not in a way society recognizes. I am also blessed with a very egalitarian marriage, because before anything else we are best friends (albeit best friends who argue over doing the dishes).